Sunday, June 27, 2010

For you, my love

We have been put through a test - a test of seperation. Jonathan is gone a lot now. Actually, about 70-80% of the time. Sometimes it feels like he just is home for a quick visit on the weekends. I love him so much, and am so proud of the man, husband and father he has become, and who he is still growing into. He is my strength, my peace, my happiness, and my heart. This phase in our life isn't making us grow apart or even grow stronger...but it is making us learn how to handle a new situation...together. I'm a better person because of this man. There is a song that I wanted to add to my music list that I sent to him one night, but it wasn't on the playlist. So, instead, for our record, I'm posting the lyrics on the site. It's Patty Griffin's "Coming Home to Me."

Anytime you say it with heart
Anytime you're falling apart
When you're washing the sheets
Any stranger you meet
Wehn there's somebody waving goodbye

You're coming home to me
Just remember you're coming home to me

It's a world full of bar rooms and alleys
Of blue nights and red river valleys
When you feel like a shirt and a tire
Or like dirt or a lion and no one can see

You're coming home to me
Just remember you're coming home to me

When you get to that place that's just under the stars
Hanging over the tree at quarter to three
When you get there you'll know that's as far as you go
When you get there you'll see you were already free
When you get there you'll be

When you're lost and you're found
And you're found then you're lost
When you're dancing with no one around

You're coming home to me
Just remember you're coming home to me

(I love you, Jonathan Scofield!)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

As we approach 9 Months!

We are just days away from Luca turning 9 months, and I am amazed at how fast it has gone by. He has been an absolute joy. I couldn't ask for a better big brother, too. Gabriel loves his little brother, and has never shown even the slightest jealousy or anger towards Luca. I'm excited to see how this relationship grows.

What is our little Luca Joe doing these days?? EVERYTHING. He has been crawling for over a month, and can pull himself up and take steps if holding on. He still smiles at everything, and does this cute little crinkling of the nose when he does his hard smile. You just can't help but smile back. He does not like to be put anywhere that he is not able to explore - and I've already had to put plugs in the electric sockets. He eats anything and everything you offer him...and has decided that baby food and formula just don't cut it. He has two big bottom teeth, one on top that has come through with three more pushing through. The only time I can get him to stay still and relax is when he is in the jogging stroller.

And last - let me introduce you to Luca's hair. :o) It does not lay down. We keep thinking it will eventually get long enough to where it lays flat, but we've been thinking that for months. So here is my precious monkey.

Some summertime photos

I have serval photos from May and some of June to post.

Luca hanging out at the waterpark
Luca was a little under the weather this day - but still so darn cute
Daddy and Gabriel at the Fox Theater - we took Gabriel to see David Copperfield.
My little ham
Memorial Day Cookout

It's good to have an attack dog...
Especially when you have pesky flower-sprinklers.
Doing what we can to stay cool

Gabriel and some buddies from his school
The boys with their Maw-Maw
Luca and his BFF, Bryce
Trying on a Braves hat at the store - I think he likes it!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Being a Mother...

I've had a real hard time the past few weeks. Luca, now 8 months, came down with a virus two weeks ago. It was a high fever and rash...3 days later Gabriel got it. It didn't affect Gabriel as much, but Luca started waking up at night and becoming REAL clingy. It has been taking us 2-3 hours in the middle of the night to be able to lay him down. I think he has 4 teeth on top popping through, and those are taking their toll. With the sleep deprivation, and with Jonathan traveling, I have found myself burnt out. I feel stressed, guilty, (tired), and very lonely. I spend absolutely zero time with Gabriel now...and find myself yelling a lot. Something I HATE. This past weekend while Jonathan was home, this came out, and I ended up in tears. We realized that we needed some much needed alone time and "us" time. I love my kids. I do. But I was just feeling like something needed to give.

Then, tonight, when I was rocking a cranky, snoty nose Luca to sleep I was thinking: maybe I want too much. I want to be the one to have fun with the boys...playing the games, hanging out, kicking the ball, taking them to the movies, playing in the water....but, maybe I was looking at this wrong. I'm a mother. I'm the one who gets up at night when tears come, wipe the noses, give the baths, brush the teeth, feed, wash the clothes, kiss the boo-boos...and in general, "take care". So maybe one day, my boys will grow up and won't think "my mom never played with me", but that "I was loved, and always felt safe. Always had food on the table. Always had a kiss a night time. Always had someone when I was sick. I was wanted." God blessed Jonathan and I with an amazing responsiblity - to take care of and raise these two precious boys. I was looking at what I wanted rather than what what was needed from me. It's part of motherhood. It's hard, it's stressful, it brings tears of joy and tears of sadness. But, it's worth it. I'm in love in a way that I never knew was possible - with my husband, with Gabriel, and with my sweet little Luca.

Anyways - this is for me. So that one day I can look back and realize how fast it flew by, and realize it wasn't as bad as it seemed at the time.

Breast Cancer 5K in Atlanta

My best girl and I took on the Breast Cancer 5 k this year. Perfect weather...we had the perfect fans (husbands and sons) on the sidelines. Although I think two of the sons were sleeping and one was bored. But, Gabriel got to run in with me at the end. It was SO crowded. Which is a good thing...yet, hard to move! We'll do this again next year, definitely! Thanks Amanda!